A breath...

Immortal Coil

While I try to get myself to stop fiddling with the code on my final site for Dreamweaver I'll post my final silkscreen project. We had to use a photo-stencil for at least one run, at least four runs total, and we were encouraged to have it 'mean' something. Plus, it needed to be a 'photo-collage', so I used my own photos of flowers and trees. Mine is (1) the flat background, (2) a ruby lith cut for the yellow to green blend you see below, (3) screen filler to block out for the crimson to red blend, (4) and the photo-stencil printed with a green to brown blend for the overall design. Happy happy happy with the finished product. I had ten prints of the one posted above and they printed totally consistent.

Pardon the distortion of the design. It was windy outside when I took pictures and the paper was moving. The first image is accurate. I have only two prints of this green one, which I might actually like better than the red roses. Made some other variations, too. This marble down below with just the last run and some others printed on top of previous left-over backgrounds.

There it is... another science-related ode. I can repeat the advanced etching class only one more time and there is the rarely available advanced silkscreen class next Spring. Considering both of them, but I'd like to know exactly what pieces I would try to accomplish before taking them. We'll see.

It's hard for me to think about anything future-ish right now. The anxiety is a daily thing. It has completely derailed me from my already slow track. Trying to keep my s*** together.

Compiling...

 

The end of the semester nears. Two weeks to go. About a week and a half actually. Spread out all of my prints from silkscreen at home to put together the final portfolio. Feels rather nice to have a stack of prints almost two inches tall. Productive class.

Also working on final sites/assignments for CSS and Dreamweaver. More staring at code for hours. My eyes are hating me. They'll hate me more once I start playing Diablo III next week. Ha. I'm pretty well on top of my work, so I don't think I'll have to delay that fun. I'm more excited for it now. Not just because the release is nearer, but because I'm in need of the catharsis.

The last few weeks have been weird. I've always had anxiety issues, but it feels like my brain and body have totally betrayed me recently. Even normal daily things have suddenly become massive challenges. Had to step out of class yesterday to walk around the hall because I was freaking out so badly. Felt like I was going to pass out or have a heart attack and could not get my nerves to settle. Ugh. Part of the problem is that I finally got around to seeing a therapist, which I probably should have done a really long time ago. The sessions, being this focused, one-on-one, social obligation, where I'm required to talk at length about myself, are simply hellish. I pretty much feel like I'm dying the whole time and the dread of the next sessions weigh on my chest like an elephant. Feels bad, man. I think it's doing more harm than good at this point. I really don't know what to do about it.

Turning 26 on Tuesday didn't help. The number is like a punch in the gut considering I more closely resemble a 16 year-old with crippling anxiety.
...
Trying to stay positive. My fingers haven't had any swelling problems, which is kind of boggling. Also got my Art Scholarship results in the mail today. Got even more $$$ than I did in 2010, which is really lovely. Then there's Diablo. Oh, and my favorite person singer in the world is releasing his first solo album on the same day. The concept is wild and over-the-top and clearly inspired by his role as Death in Elisabeth. Intense. So, there's that to keep me going through the home-stretch.

Fixing...

 At long last, the sweet sweet violet closure. Glad to have that done. I only printed a few of them and they weren't registered as well as the violet-less ones, but still... HUZZAH! On the left is the only one I printed with the stencils flipped around and I think it looks kind of awesome.

w00t.

"...lungs that suck at being lungs..."

"Pain demands to be felt."

The alternative substrates project. Open subject matter. We just had to print it on more than paper; shirts, wood, stickers, etc. My design was inspired by 'The Fault in our Stars', by John Green. The main protagonist is a teenage girl with lung cancer. I wanted to do something with ribs/lungs and then something with a starry motif, which shows up repeatedly in the story. So I did this stylized constellation thing with the lungs. Pretty happy with the result. Also printed some variations with prints I already had from earlier projects. Originally, I wanted to integrate the text in the design, but I decided against it... 'Pain demands to be felt' is one of many memorable lines from the book.

The poor, mangled bodies of plastic basketballers littered the carpeted ground: here, a ball palmed by a disembodied hand; there, two torsoless legs caught midjump. Isaac kept attacking the trophies, jumping on them with both feet, screaming, breathless, sweaty, until finally he collapsed on top of the jagged trophic remnants.
      Augustus stepped toward him and looked down. "Feel better?" he asked.
      "No," Isaac mumbled, his chest heaving.
      "That's the thing about pain," Augustus said, and then glanced back at me. "It demands to be felt."

Again, I highly recommend reading it, as long as you have a box of tissues within reach.

 Here's John reading the first chapter on youtube.