Time passes...
Missed my last ding entirely. Sorry, 32. Here we are at 33.
I considered 2017 a bust.
2018 was not. But it was challenging.
It makes sense that I stopped making time to post in February of last year. It's when I became a mod of the K-Pop subreddit. I had only applied to help with banners and light moderation, but due to a number of circumstances, ended up being one of only a few primary moderators for a full year until we recently got some more in.
Modding a sub like that... holy shit, it's a lot of work. And stressful.
On top of that, the biggest criminal scandal ever in K-Pop, broke this February. We've been covering it with painstaking diligence ever since. And some of the reporting is brutally difficult to read.
I am very much aware that between this stuff and KPOPPY and EssentialKpop, I have basically taken on more than a full day job's worth of work... as a volunteer. It has given me a lot of purpose and satisfaction as I overcome challenges or problems, but I'm definitely still sick and not very functional otherwise. Been a weird year.
The rest of my time is spent with politics, mostly in the socialism/breadtube spheres. It's somehow both depressing and comforting. Depressing how far we are from sanity, especially with establishment Democrats hell-bent on losing forever. Comforting for the reminder that there are people out there who care and haven't been made completely batshit by mainstream media. The stupid, but informed, humor of stuff like ChapTrapHouse is cathartic.
It has to be a progressive in 2020. We need Bernie. Warren or Gabbard are the only other acceptable choices.
Still finding escape in BTS. Doing more and more amazing things all the time. They just performed, and won, at the Billboard Music Awards and started a world stadium tour. Still blowing my mind to have watched them debut as underdog nobodies and get to where they are now. Nuts!
Honestly, not too hard to understand when you see how close they are still. That affection between them stronger than ever, even though some of them have lived together for like 8... 9 years? Good god. Fun dudes. They're like the human embodiment of every team-building exercise.
Anyway, not much substance here. Just affirming my existence.
The Orville is still awesome.
Star Trek Discovery finally started to feel a little like Star Trek at some point in the 2nd season. Probably when Spock showed up. Still kind of a slog.
Goals this year are to make a healthy work/life schedule, update KPOPPY, and paint a little. One finished art project. I've barely done anything for ages, other than for the K-Pop subreddit.
Also want to plant some pentas for the hummingbirds.
Yep.
Showing posts with label kpop. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kpop. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 8, 2019
Wednesday, February 14, 2018
Still paddling the old knew...
I still exist.
Sometimes a competitive high school dance team serving pure 80s gives you the will to live.
Tomioka Dance Club, ladies and gentlemen.
Almost never listen to Western music anymore, but I'm pretty well obsessed with this MV and song. Super super super gorgeous video.
I basically decided to forfeit 2017. It was a despondent blight of fire and tears.
Trying to get things moving forward now. Or just... moving.
Following the solid week of crying grief over Jonghyun I rubbed my eyes lightly, exhausted, awake too long. Got a crazy after-image burst in my left eye that stayed with me for almost two weeks. Accompanied by a continuous headache. Probably a mild posterior vitreous detachment according to the internet. Could've been a stroke or aneurysm finally coming for me... wouldn't know. Still can't think about being out in the world enough to deal with seeing a doctor. I fully appreciate the depth of this foolishness.
Illness makes a fool of me on the regular.
I did some reading. Ready Player One was a miserable shock. I had heard so many good things about it. I was genuinely startled to experience how poor it was. It's just... yeah... it's just not good.
Got through John Green's Turtles All The Way Down with difficulty. Had to take breaks for a few days at a time because I was crying through so much of it. Then Jonghyun happened in the midst of that and I didn't come back to it for a while. It's very good. But extremely challenging to get through for someone who has OCD and mental illness on-par or worse than the protagonist. It was so damn real to my own experience that it could only be a painfully anxious ride. If you ever wanted to know what it's like to have OCD, read Turtles All The Way Down.
Saved The Book of Dust: La Belle Sauvage for the last of my reading stint. Figured it would be the most fun. I was right. Pretty harrowing tale. Pullman is such a beautiful writer. Effortlessly vibrant. His Dark Materials is a very important book series for me so I'm thrilled to have more stories within that universe. Eagerly awaiting the next installments.
Mostly I've been escaping into BTS. Bangtan Sonyeondan. Which is also foolish. I thought my Kpop group fangirling days were behind me. I'd never again follow a group as closely as I followed DBSK.
But BTS... is an irresistible force of nature.
They had impressed me early on with the steady pace and quality of their promotional periods. There was a clear difference between the dozens of other groups I see debut and disappear yearly. Their WINGS era at the end of 2016 really reached a critical mass of attention. Finally recognized with big awards. Then their unprecedented grassroots worldwide fanbase voted them into a Billboard award and all of the press, hype, and collaborations that came out of that launched them into the stratosphere. Completely wild to witness that happening in real-time.
The sheer mass of their content online is simply insane and it's the easiest thing in the world to fall into and luxuriate. Foolish because investing emotionally in such a thing has gotten me into trouble before. Grief-stricken, physically ill, trouble... when things have gone tragic or criminal. Namely DBSK. As I said, I thought I'd never let myself be sucked in again.
But here we are.
I've never seen an entire group be as tightly bonded as these seven are. A lot of circumstances around the creation and development of the group are unique in the industry, so it makes sense. The culture of affection runs deep.
They have a large body of socially/politically conscious material. Much of it written by them. Hard to not appreciate that considering the environment they're in. They have a category of material I refer to as their 'Hey, try not to kill yourself' songs. Lost, So Far Away, Not Today, 2! 3!, YNWA, etc.
My favorite of which is 'Tomorrow'.
I find them to be helpful, personally.
Comforting.
Anywhoozle, just popping in.
2018, have mercy on us.
Sometimes a competitive high school dance team serving pure 80s gives you the will to live.
Tomioka Dance Club, ladies and gentlemen.
Almost never listen to Western music anymore, but I'm pretty well obsessed with this MV and song. Super super super gorgeous video.
I basically decided to forfeit 2017. It was a despondent blight of fire and tears.
Trying to get things moving forward now. Or just... moving.
Following the solid week of crying grief over Jonghyun I rubbed my eyes lightly, exhausted, awake too long. Got a crazy after-image burst in my left eye that stayed with me for almost two weeks. Accompanied by a continuous headache. Probably a mild posterior vitreous detachment according to the internet. Could've been a stroke or aneurysm finally coming for me... wouldn't know. Still can't think about being out in the world enough to deal with seeing a doctor. I fully appreciate the depth of this foolishness.
Illness makes a fool of me on the regular.
I did some reading. Ready Player One was a miserable shock. I had heard so many good things about it. I was genuinely startled to experience how poor it was. It's just... yeah... it's just not good.
Got through John Green's Turtles All The Way Down with difficulty. Had to take breaks for a few days at a time because I was crying through so much of it. Then Jonghyun happened in the midst of that and I didn't come back to it for a while. It's very good. But extremely challenging to get through for someone who has OCD and mental illness on-par or worse than the protagonist. It was so damn real to my own experience that it could only be a painfully anxious ride. If you ever wanted to know what it's like to have OCD, read Turtles All The Way Down.
Saved The Book of Dust: La Belle Sauvage for the last of my reading stint. Figured it would be the most fun. I was right. Pretty harrowing tale. Pullman is such a beautiful writer. Effortlessly vibrant. His Dark Materials is a very important book series for me so I'm thrilled to have more stories within that universe. Eagerly awaiting the next installments.
Mostly I've been escaping into BTS. Bangtan Sonyeondan. Which is also foolish. I thought my Kpop group fangirling days were behind me. I'd never again follow a group as closely as I followed DBSK.
But BTS... is an irresistible force of nature.
They had impressed me early on with the steady pace and quality of their promotional periods. There was a clear difference between the dozens of other groups I see debut and disappear yearly. Their WINGS era at the end of 2016 really reached a critical mass of attention. Finally recognized with big awards. Then their unprecedented grassroots worldwide fanbase voted them into a Billboard award and all of the press, hype, and collaborations that came out of that launched them into the stratosphere. Completely wild to witness that happening in real-time.
The sheer mass of their content online is simply insane and it's the easiest thing in the world to fall into and luxuriate. Foolish because investing emotionally in such a thing has gotten me into trouble before. Grief-stricken, physically ill, trouble... when things have gone tragic or criminal. Namely DBSK. As I said, I thought I'd never let myself be sucked in again.
But here we are.
I've never seen an entire group be as tightly bonded as these seven are. A lot of circumstances around the creation and development of the group are unique in the industry, so it makes sense. The culture of affection runs deep.
They have a large body of socially/politically conscious material. Much of it written by them. Hard to not appreciate that considering the environment they're in. They have a category of material I refer to as their 'Hey, try not to kill yourself' songs. Lost, So Far Away, Not Today, 2! 3!, YNWA, etc.
My favorite of which is 'Tomorrow'.
I find them to be helpful, personally.
Comforting.
Anywhoozle, just popping in.
2018, have mercy on us.
Wednesday, December 20, 2017
Jonghyun.
Cross-posting this from my KPOPPY blog as it's relevant to personal matters.
Couldn't bear thinking about this post, but I think I'll do it now while it's still raw... for my own process. I will not be posting music videos for a few days. I'll try to catch up at the end of the week and weekend. Thank you for your patience.
Couldn't bear thinking about this post, but I think I'll do it now while it's still raw... for my own process. I will not be posting music videos for a few days. I'll try to catch up at the end of the week and weekend. Thank you for your patience.
Kim Jonghyun of SHINee has passed away.
In the full post there is SM's official statement, some links, and my personal response to what has happened. Everything is after the jump-cut so it can easily be skipped for anyone having too difficult a time with all this. Please do not read further if frank discussion of this event would overwhelm you.
To Shawols, I love you.
To the greater Kpop community, hold each other tight.
Provide all the support you can and embrace support yourself if you need it.
Provide all the support you can and embrace support yourself if you need it.
To Jonghyun, thank you for sharing your voice and your music.
You've worked so hard.
♥
Monday, May 8, 2017
*ding*
The winter rains in California are proving their worth in full. Baboon flower in vibrant bloom.
Spearmint. Luxuriant.
Three cheers for that.
31.
I just jumped through my last five birthday entries. All variations of 'I'm a miserable mess, trying to get by, relying on the little things'.
Yup.
Same.
Doing art when I can. Working on Project for Awesome stuff to donate at the end of the year and a similar charity/auction thing in the summer. That'll go to London. I'll probably be posting some of that soon-ish.
I have things to say about reddit's /r/place April Fools shindig from this year.
Also Trixie Mattel's folk album. Future posts.
Day to day, it's getting enough food in me, getting some exercise, chores while listening to podcasts, feeding the birds, reading a bit (currently the Kingkiller Chronicle), keeping up with Kpop posts on my blog and Essential, a little tinkering with my KPOPPY re-coding project, watching a few shows and my youtube subscriptions, art when my fingers are feeling good, and sleep. Rinse. Repeat.
With a steadier constitution I think more on some blunt realities.
For example, I haven't left this city in five years, but I don't know what it looks like. I know my street and the park a bit (PokemonGo), but...
Took a drive with Ma not long ago. Hadn't been in a car in all that time. Incredibly disorienting. She didn't go far. Just beyond the neighborhood. But it was hard for me.
Disorienting... yeah.
Vertigo almost.
Vertiginous is the word.
Not just the movement of the car. But the reality of viewing an area that I've been inside of continuously, but haven't been witness to. My house is a time machine. My life for five years is a blur within it. Everywhere else is changed.
It was overwhelming and hard enough for me to live out in the world when I was running at peak capability. Even as I get better, it's beyond daunting to think about re-entering it when my illness is still so present. It's fair to say the illness was always there, but I had only been white-knuckling it all along. Couldn't ever form a contingency plan. So when my hands metaphorically ripped off, I went flying. And now I don't have anything to reliably hold on with.
Just left looking for my hands.
Not sure if that's even what I should be doing.
White-knuckling is clearly not sustainable.
There's a certain healing comfort to the routine I'm in now. But the awareness that I'm a hair's breadth from doom at any time is always there. If something happened to my folks. If I got sick in a more emergent way. Shit happening in general. deep breath
And always the friends and family who I am utterly isolated from, unable to see or support.
I have a niece I've only really met through screens.
The positive up-tick in things of late considered... that kinda thing fucks me up on the daily.
Gotta take a towel to my cheeks and go watch the birds.
Mysteriously busted my calf muscle a couple weeks ago. Almost thought I had a blood clot or something. Incredibly sore and painful, but didn't know how I had done it. No swelling or bruising while it was excruciating. Magically disappeared after a few days. Some bruising showed up days later. Strange.
Maybe I'm reaching an age where that kind of thing hits harder and more randomly. My body has always been pretty resilient and un-pained. Remarkably so with 10 years of ballet, including pointe. Or un-remarkably? Hard to say.
Little things.
An American Gods TV series started on Starz. First two episodes were pretty fantastic. As much as the penultimate plotline in the book was difficult for me for personal reasons, the mythology referenced is a delight. My favorite reading material growing up. Greek, Norse, Egyptian, a multitude of others. Significantly responsible for my de-conversion from Christianity and arrival at agnostic atheism. Pure fun to see these characters brought to life on screen. Done very well too. Not for the prudish or faint of heart to watch, but worth it so far.
Also watching the new season of Produce101 in the Kpop realm. All boys this time. We're calling it Broduce101. The first big cut brought it from 101 to 60. I lost 4 dudes I was checking for in it. About 15 others I'm still rooting for. Mnet is sticking to the season 1 format pretty closely, which I'm pleased about.
On the note of competition shows, spoilery RuPaul's Drag Race update after the cut.
But first, a relevant Saturday Night Live sketch that just aired:
DRAG WILL
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Sunday, May 1, 2016
Sweetly scented, highly poisonous...
A gift from my Aunt a long time ago. A Lily of the Valley teacup for May.
It's been a minute.
Say you stumble in the middle of the night and fall into a well.
And whoooooshcrunch there you are broken at the bottom.
And you shred your hands in the effort to climb your way out.
And it takes a very long time.
It's not until you can look back into the well in full daylight that you realize just how deep it was.
You can't fathom how you were ever able to make it out.
I know I'll have setbacks. I recognize I'll stumble again. The truth is it doesn't always get better. Sometimes it gets vastly worse. All you can do is try to prepare yourself for when it gets bad so you can get better on the other side.
I've had this feeling before. Especially when I've recalled school, mostly 7th through 12th grade, I wonder how I did it. Getting very little sleep at night from anxiety. Early morning. Every day. Overwhelmed by too many people and too much noise and chronic stress and illness and no relief. Objectively, I know I got through it by being a suicidal zombie, which isn't any way to be. But I can look back and awe that I didn't blow my brains out every day. I got to the other side.
Here I am on the other side again.
For the last few months I have noticed, in small ways and big, that my sensory experience is vastly different than it was for roughly the last four years. My 'normal' during that time was to have a panic attack if I felt too cold or too hot or needed to burp or felt hungry or full or from watching a movie or for seemingly no reason at all.
My nervous system was on a hair-trigger for every tiny little bit of stimulation. And every response was a grenade going off in my ribcage, ripping my limbs from my body, sending me in a terrorized scramble to collect them... even though they were right there where they should be, attached to me just fine.
But surely they couldn't be when I felt like I'd been blown apart.
I know things about myself now. I know that when I'm totally fucked up and in a panicked state, but trying to hold it together, my right arm twitches involuntarily. My elbow swings away from my body, pulsing by my side. I know that the smaller anxious moments make me yawn compulsively and grip and massage my collarbones and neck without thinking about it.
I yawn a lot still.
But the grenades are gone.
So now I can eat full meals. And have seconds!
And I can watch an icky scene in Orphan Black and laugh through it.
I can go through the majority of my days feeling stable. The steadiness is so palpable. It's remarkable.
It's so distinct that I know even a year ago I was nowhere near this.
I turn 30 in a week and I'm a total failure by normal people standards.
But hey, for the first time in four years, I can eat seconds!
Win!
Got hired for a temporary little job creating questions for a trivia app... the Kpop section. It pays to be knowledgeable about an obscure niche of a niche bit of pop culture.
Got asked to contribute to a tumblr typography project for Hank Green Out of Context, which will probably be posted within the week. Mine will certainly be the least competent of the bunch, in the typographical sense. It's not something I've studied/practiced. But I did a playful Illuminated Manuscript dealio, which is kind of hilariously stupid.
JUNSU IS MAKING ONE MORE ALBUM BEFORE ENLISTMENT.
Bless goddess Hani for dating him so he would delay military to be with his lady-love for a little while longer. I mostly just want to marry her myself. I usually don't take much interest in female idols, but she's the anti-idol and I love her dearly.
EXID has a similar rapport to what DBSK had back in the day. Their company is less strict though. Would never have gotten a drunken, spastic, performance like this from an SM group.
Hani is fucking precious.
And Solji's voice is fierce af.
Arsenal's season utterly fell apart for the 2nd half of the season. Lol. And Leicester have had this fairytale, planets aligning, prophecy fulfillment of a prophecy that never was. And while most everyone hates little Leicester now, Arsenal fans are rooting for them to beat Tottenham... because Tottenham. If Chelsea beats them tomorrow, I believe it becomes impossible for them to beat Leicester for the league.
That'll be a fun game.
Back to work!
Saturday, December 5, 2015
Winter Meditations
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| Winter Meditations (formerly Winter Zen) |
Above: Refreshed the doodle I did in February '14. Now available for purchase.
Working on so many things that I've just gotten to completion... took a bit of a break to make a metric fuckton of Ikea furniture for the family office/room. And to watch how my hand does.
I procrastinated too long on the Project for Awesome Art Perks. Did a ton of long-term preparation since last year, but was in such a psychological funk this year that I couldn't find the motivation until really late. Got it done though. I'll cover that in the next post. Anyway, got a couple swollen spots on my fingers, but only slight, and I've wrapped/taped them so diligently from the start that I think I've prevented a full-blown episode. Woo! Means I'll be able to keep working on things.
Once the furniture situation is handled I'll focus on end-of-the-year Kpop stuff. The annual re-coding Kpoppy.com, this time with the new Bootstrap, finalizing my 2015 Best Of playlist, and getting started on a History of Kpop piece I've had in my head for a while... aiming to finish it sometime next year.
Also a couple of commissions to crank out before the New Year. Fun stuff.
Arsenal was having a nice start to the season. Mesut has been on fire. Broke a record for assists in consecutive games. And a few goals to boot. Really rough November for the team though. Got hit with the curse of injuries again. Almost the entire starting 11 with knocks. Mes is the last man standing. Lol. *Knocks wood*
Been a weird season. Leicester kicking ass and Chelsea in an epic downward spiral of failure, both quite delightful to witness.
Jae and Chun serving well in the military. I'm more comfortable with all that now. Junsu released a mini-album (awesome), just finished a tour with it (awesomer), will feature at the upcoming Epik High concert (even awesomer), will have 3 days of his Musical/Ballad concert to end the year (awesomest), then will have a 2nd run of Dracula early next year (awesome x infinity), and probably wind down around then to start his service. We'll see. Jaejoong will have his pre-enlistment album out in February. Also the 'JYJ Bill' passed, which is attempting to make blacklistings of that nature punishable by law. Many folks celebrated that they'd be able to be on TV again. But those who are better informed know that it mainly just reiterates and confirms the current situation as illegal and corrupt, but you can't force broadcasters to have JYJ on TV. They'll just continue to make arbitrary/creative excuses that they can't get in trouble for... and the exile will remain. It's nice to have it out there though. On principle. And that it's named after them.
PSY had his first proper comeback after Gangnam Style.
Mad sleepy. Off to bed.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Pieces of Autumn...
More accurate representation of the shiny gold paper on the left and what the back of the weaving looks like on the right. I dunno... I think the back might be the best part. Lol.
Currently preparing some cleaned up versions of older work so they're print-ready.
Also currently on the Bernie Sanders hype train. Choo choo.
Also enjoying all the super hero/comic book shows coming back. 2nd episode of Arrow was killer. Debating whether I can handle another season of Daredevil on Netflix violence-wise. Jessica Jones as well. Super Girl looks like it could be awesome or terrible.
Also JUNSU TEASER!
APOCALYPTIC AF!
Looks like the imagery is inspired from Revelation 9.
I'm down! So excited.
Sora has this awkward tail feather that was probably supposed to molt off like normal, but has been there for almost a month. Dead grey and thrashed a bit... jutting out oddly. Doesn't seem to be messing up her flight or anything, but I'm a wee bit concerned. Shake ya tail feather, girl!
Also DBSK/JYJ fandom crapped its pants over the last couple weeks due to Jaejoong and Yunho meeting in public. Amicably. Meltdowns. Meltdowns everywhere.
Interesting development. Veerrrry interesting.
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Planets and constellations...
Pluto is my desktop background for the indefinite future.
So pretty.
And there's flowing water on Mars.
So rad.
And the eclipse was really lovely. We had perfectly clear conditions to see it here. Gorgeous color.
Computer is great. Drawing and painting again is great. Multiple projects in the furnace, so I'll be stagnant on the end product for a little while still. S'all good.
But this post will mostly about constellations. One in particular.
Cassiopeia.
But that's all Kpop insanity, so it's going under a cut.
Private First Class Jaejoong jamming to Uptown Funk for the lulz.
So pretty.
And there's flowing water on Mars.
So rad.
And the eclipse was really lovely. We had perfectly clear conditions to see it here. Gorgeous color.
Computer is great. Drawing and painting again is great. Multiple projects in the furnace, so I'll be stagnant on the end product for a little while still. S'all good.
But this post will mostly about constellations. One in particular.
Cassiopeia.
But that's all Kpop insanity, so it's going under a cut.
Private First Class Jaejoong jamming to Uptown Funk for the lulz.
Saturday, September 12, 2015
Looking up...
Poof!
Always lots of pretty sunrises and sunsets this time of the year.
It took a couple weeks, but the computer situation is pretty golden at the moment.
Got a new much-needed mouse and pair of headphones.
Got Windows happily running and updated. And I embraced the opportunity to dump a lot of old files and re-organize/clean up my filing system. All drivers working. All programs installed nicely. Cleaned out old archives in the external hard drive and backed up the currently awesome state of the computer. Still going to take a while to get all my fonts, workspace, and tool presets loaded in for Photoshop and that sort of thing. But that happens organically anyway. Again, taking the opportunity to get everything refreshed.
And NOW I can get back to work. YUSSSS.
Bootstrap 4 is out in beta, so I'll slowly be re-coding Kpoppy with some of that new stuff. Cool.
Also helping out the This Week in Kpop guys with their MV posting site, which is very similar to what I do on the blog attached to Kpoppy. Always enjoy helping Kpop-related community efforts. Get to learn stuff and have a routine.
Its been crazy hot again, so I've had to delay painting, but I want to start hammering some things out this coming week. I'm determined to not be pressured on the P4A work this time around.
And FINALLY I'll get to transitioning to the replacement tablet now that the computer crashing trauma is less vivid. Yay.
Both Jaejoong and Yoochun are now serving in the military. A slew of guys entering soon. 4/5 DBSK guys will be serving within a couple months with Changmin going early. Hyukjae too. Mind-eff. Trying to detach myself now that I've become aware how much anxiety it's giving me. Gotta let some of that go... and keep my eyes on my own paper. I don't want to be so emotionally invested in folks across the world that I'm sickened by the thought of what they're dealing with. Not healthy for me. Overactive empathy... hurting myself with it. Not cool. Awareness is one thing. Panic attacks at every bit of news is another.
And LITERALLY keep my eyes on my own paper for some drawings. Much more driven to doodle now with the computer madness out of the way.
During the file re-organizing I came across some old art stuff I did for various projects. Like these apples from a quick html class assignment.
Kinda cute!
Friday, April 17, 2015
Big ass Junsu/JYJ post...
Been in a funk for a couple months. Very unproductive.
I think it's related to couple things. One that I have about five projects in the works that have me super excited and I always struggle when that happens. It paralyzes me for some reason. The other is that I think I'm dealing with some pre-grief.
DBSK, Kpop, and JYJ have been more than a seven-year investment. In attention. In emotion. In the case of JYJ, deeply felt hurt and joy, which however vicarious have been a huge part of my life. Likely because I don't have much of one, or the one I have is very difficult to navigate right now. So the outside stuff powers a lot of my general energy.
Started feeling drained leading up to the end of March. Then Jaejoong enlisted in the military and I wasn't particularly bothered by it until some of his last media stuff came out. Him breaking down at the end of his last show, which was jarring to see from someone who is usually quite stoic. And his last public messages to Junsu and Yoochun. It's probably the boldest any of them have spoken about the lawsuit stuff, which is interesting. But it really got to me in regards to Junsu, their service overlapping and there being three years of little to no contact. These guys have been constantly, living and working together for like 14 years? 15? And now there will be this big ol' gap in there.
Yeesh. I'm having this hard of a time with Jaejoong. What am I going to do a year from now when it's Junsu....
I'll move on.
Flower.
Junsu's album is beautiful. [Listen on Youtube]
Beautiful.
It's ballad-heavy, narrative-heavy, and taps into all those nuances I love most in his weird voice.
Rating it would be impossible. I'm far too biased. I don't know how an outsider would respond to it. It might be too intimate/personal to appeal to a broader audience. I think he made it entirely to please himself and fans and give himself a setlist for tour.
After listening to it often since release my favorites are:
And the former is the epic fever-dream, which I partially captured in the drawing above.
I wasn't entirely off with the immortal storyline. It is about the passage of time, but it's more about his and JYJ's struggle against the corruption of an industry, which both built and attempted to destroy their careers. And Tablo on the track is just massively poignant and intentional. Both artists ripped apart by the media circus and anti-fans and having to rebuild themselves out of the ruins. And Tablo even showed up to perform his part at the Seoul concert, which melted my face off. Dream of dream collabs fulfilled in mind-blowing fashion.
The dance tracks, Out Of Control, X-Song, and FLP are delightful in concert.
The only song I'm somewhat 'meh' on is Hello Hello, which is a little bit too outdated for me. But I still like it.
License to Love was my initial favorite, but I find myself coming back to Love You More the most.
This was always the case with DBSK back in the day. Their tracks always sound better live, especially ballads. Junsu always sounds better live. And it's the songs that most benefit from the live-ness, which often end up being long-term favorites. I posted a fancam mega-post on Omona for Junsu's concerts (nerve-wracking first post after following Omona for forever) and the process of watching a million different fancams led me to my adoration of Love You More.
He just looks so happy and warm when he performs it.
The lyrics are about being in a relationship with someone who is struggling and going through a hard time. Feeling rather helpless and sad for them, but ensuring that you're there to comfort and hold them, to listen, to help in any way. Even if there is really nothing effective to offer...
I cry lots.
Lots and lots.
Junsu got invited to perform on TV for the first time in six years. It's on an EBS show, which is like PBS in the states. That's why they have the balls to have him on. They're not beholden to the power of companies who gift or withhold their idols in a creepy kind of hostage situation. But EBS gave him 40 minutes, 7 songs, and already previewed it on a news segment where they openly talked about SM Entertainment's choke-hold on the networks. EBS HAS BALLS OF TITANIUM.
Very emotional opportunity for Junsu. A huge deal. A sad, but wonderful and huge deal.
That airs on the 30th. I'm paranoid SME will exert some hidden power before then and get it pulled.
Been burned so many times by them I can't even trust this awesomeness until it happens.
Then Junsu will be playing L in the new Korean adaptation of the musical for DeathNote, which is all kinds of intriguing. There has been a Japanese version and I think there might even be a Broadway version in the works? Incredibly odd material to adapt in musical form. But I think Junsu has the voice and physicality to figure it out. Plus Sun-ah will play Misa, so BONUS!
And then I'm trying to imagine my own goals for the next few years.
What will I invest this time and energy into when they're gone? Considering some really specific things like getting heavily into yoga practice again and learning inversions. Could I get a stable handstand within three years? Or to work on my flat feet. They cause me no pain, but maybe now is better than later (or never) for strengthening muscles I don't use properly.
Also /r/thebutton is such a fucking fascinating development...
Finally just got down to 25s tonight. It's always the best times while my fellow Americans are sleeping. I'm a Grey Non-Presser and have no alts. It's likely I'll be sticking with the Greys, but if the Red Guard should require me in the end, I may take up the call.
Peace.
I think it's related to couple things. One that I have about five projects in the works that have me super excited and I always struggle when that happens. It paralyzes me for some reason. The other is that I think I'm dealing with some pre-grief.
DBSK, Kpop, and JYJ have been more than a seven-year investment. In attention. In emotion. In the case of JYJ, deeply felt hurt and joy, which however vicarious have been a huge part of my life. Likely because I don't have much of one, or the one I have is very difficult to navigate right now. So the outside stuff powers a lot of my general energy.
Started feeling drained leading up to the end of March. Then Jaejoong enlisted in the military and I wasn't particularly bothered by it until some of his last media stuff came out. Him breaking down at the end of his last show, which was jarring to see from someone who is usually quite stoic. And his last public messages to Junsu and Yoochun. It's probably the boldest any of them have spoken about the lawsuit stuff, which is interesting. But it really got to me in regards to Junsu, their service overlapping and there being three years of little to no contact. These guys have been constantly, living and working together for like 14 years? 15? And now there will be this big ol' gap in there.
Yeesh. I'm having this hard of a time with Jaejoong. What am I going to do a year from now when it's Junsu....
I'll move on.
Flower.
Junsu's album is beautiful. [Listen on Youtube]
Beautiful.
It's ballad-heavy, narrative-heavy, and taps into all those nuances I love most in his weird voice.
Rating it would be impossible. I'm far too biased. I don't know how an outsider would respond to it. It might be too intimate/personal to appeal to a broader audience. I think he made it entirely to please himself and fans and give himself a setlist for tour.
After listening to it often since release my favorites are:
- Reach
- License to Love
- Love You More
- Love Breath
And the former is the epic fever-dream, which I partially captured in the drawing above.
I wasn't entirely off with the immortal storyline. It is about the passage of time, but it's more about his and JYJ's struggle against the corruption of an industry, which both built and attempted to destroy their careers. And Tablo on the track is just massively poignant and intentional. Both artists ripped apart by the media circus and anti-fans and having to rebuild themselves out of the ruins. And Tablo even showed up to perform his part at the Seoul concert, which melted my face off. Dream of dream collabs fulfilled in mind-blowing fashion.
The dance tracks, Out Of Control, X-Song, and FLP are delightful in concert.
The only song I'm somewhat 'meh' on is Hello Hello, which is a little bit too outdated for me. But I still like it.
License to Love was my initial favorite, but I find myself coming back to Love You More the most.
This was always the case with DBSK back in the day. Their tracks always sound better live, especially ballads. Junsu always sounds better live. And it's the songs that most benefit from the live-ness, which often end up being long-term favorites. I posted a fancam mega-post on Omona for Junsu's concerts (nerve-wracking first post after following Omona for forever) and the process of watching a million different fancams led me to my adoration of Love You More.
He just looks so happy and warm when he performs it.
The lyrics are about being in a relationship with someone who is struggling and going through a hard time. Feeling rather helpless and sad for them, but ensuring that you're there to comfort and hold them, to listen, to help in any way. Even if there is really nothing effective to offer...
Nevermind... love you more.
I cry lots.
Lots and lots.
Junsu got invited to perform on TV for the first time in six years. It's on an EBS show, which is like PBS in the states. That's why they have the balls to have him on. They're not beholden to the power of companies who gift or withhold their idols in a creepy kind of hostage situation. But EBS gave him 40 minutes, 7 songs, and already previewed it on a news segment where they openly talked about SM Entertainment's choke-hold on the networks. EBS HAS BALLS OF TITANIUM.
Very emotional opportunity for Junsu. A huge deal. A sad, but wonderful and huge deal.
That airs on the 30th. I'm paranoid SME will exert some hidden power before then and get it pulled.
Been burned so many times by them I can't even trust this awesomeness until it happens.
Then Junsu will be playing L in the new Korean adaptation of the musical for DeathNote, which is all kinds of intriguing. There has been a Japanese version and I think there might even be a Broadway version in the works? Incredibly odd material to adapt in musical form. But I think Junsu has the voice and physicality to figure it out. Plus Sun-ah will play Misa, so BONUS!
And then I'm trying to imagine my own goals for the next few years.
What will I invest this time and energy into when they're gone? Considering some really specific things like getting heavily into yoga practice again and learning inversions. Could I get a stable handstand within three years? Or to work on my flat feet. They cause me no pain, but maybe now is better than later (or never) for strengthening muscles I don't use properly.
Also /r/thebutton is such a fucking fascinating development...
Finally just got down to 25s tonight. It's always the best times while my fellow Americans are sleeping. I'm a Grey Non-Presser and have no alts. It's likely I'll be sticking with the Greys, but if the Red Guard should require me in the end, I may take up the call.
Friday, February 27, 2015
Maybe immortal?
Surprise surprise, a Junsu post.
Two teasers in the last few days.
The first:
The second:
So aside from the general screaming and utter delight... I'm making some guesses as to what the concept is. Of course, it could just be purely aesthetic choices, but I think there is a thread here related to some of Junsu's recent interests. I believe his performance as Dracula is the key.
Considering that, I'm wondering if it is a Man from Earth kind of narrative. Junsu is an immortal character. He's living through many eras as a tribal 'caveman', a gladiator, a wealthy figure/aristocrat in a robot apocalypse... and possibly with his own little horde of minions who do his bidding in each of these periods.
It would be extremely cool if it's something along those lines. Could be something else entirely and that would be equally cool. That's just going to be my prediction for now.
That audio clip gives me chills every time.
I'm so damn excited about this thing it cannot properly be verbalized.
Two teasers in the last few days.
The first:
The second:
So aside from the general screaming and utter delight... I'm making some guesses as to what the concept is. Of course, it could just be purely aesthetic choices, but I think there is a thread here related to some of Junsu's recent interests. I believe his performance as Dracula is the key.
Considering that, I'm wondering if it is a Man from Earth kind of narrative. Junsu is an immortal character. He's living through many eras as a tribal 'caveman', a gladiator, a wealthy figure/aristocrat in a robot apocalypse... and possibly with his own little horde of minions who do his bidding in each of these periods.
It would be extremely cool if it's something along those lines. Could be something else entirely and that would be equally cool. That's just going to be my prediction for now.
That audio clip gives me chills every time.
I'm so damn excited about this thing it cannot properly be verbalized.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
A quick one...
FINGER STATUS:
Back to the usual hints of pink. Even the thumb scar might disappear completely.
Getting back to drawing this week. Woo!
And in other wonderful news...
TABLO AND JUNSU.
MY JOY IS INEXPRESSIBLE.
INEXPRESSIBLE DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A WORD.
WELL, IT IS NOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF.
There are a number of people on the list of dream Junsu collaborators, but the top of said list looks like this:
- Junsu and Hyukjae
- Junsu and Tablo
- Other people...
Considering that Hyukjae will likely be impossible until he leaves SME, Tablo is the number one choice of all possible dream collabos.
They "collabed" back in 2007-ish for the Samsung Anyband commercial stuff along with BoA and Jin Bora. Surely none of them had much creative control about the project other than Tablo writing his own lyrics (I assume). Anyway, I've always wanted a DBSK/Epik High collab... or a JYJ/Epik High collab more recently, but DUDE, I WILL TOTALLY TAKE TABLO/JUNSU.
I'LL TAKE THAT ALL DAY LONG.
We have a few preliminary teaser images for Junsu's album to be released March 3rd. Also the tracklist. Also a few details. Naul and Dok2 are listed as other collaborators (OMG NAUL). We've been told it will be a 'huge transformation' somehow. Diverse genres is a guarantee. Ballads and R&B and dance pop... And the title track 'Flower' is the one with Tablo.
Supposedly, Flower is 'baroque hip-hop' with strings AND a choir AND Tablo AND Jung Sun-ah of Mozart/Dracula fame. I don't know wtf baroque hip-hop will be, but I'm down for that, whatever it is. Tablo is fucking Tablo. And Sun-ah is a super talented babe with a voice that thrills me.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF.
THIS ALBUM MIGHT ACTUALLY KILL ME.
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Big JYJ Post
ALBUM REVIEW : JUST US
youtube link to listen
youtube link to listen
Just Us: Just us... just us... JYJ...
Back Seat: Lead single. I have weird mixed opinions about Back Seat. Yoochun's awkward narration will always be both amusing and frustrating for me. And there is a lot of it on this album. Plus, the lyrics are about making out and having sexy-times with someone in the backseat of a car. Two minds on this. One that I have no interest in such things. One that these guys are almost 30 and it is very age appropriate and refreshing in an odd way, since most of their stuff isn't anywhere near that overt. Maybe Be The One? Anyway, ALL of that aside, I love the track. The melody, the simplicity of vocal + beat, building to a big layered 'crescendo' (I don't know what else to call it). Junsu's voice really jams in this one. ★★★
The MV is the most contemporary looking thing JYJ have ever done... even going back to their DBSK days. It still has some styling issues, but I can dig.
Letting Go: Pleasant melody. Pretty chorus. Straightforward imminent break-up song. Junsu's lyrics. Actually a reversal of the break-up songs he has previously written/performed, which are usually about the significant other 'letting go' and him being the dumped one. Yoochun awkward spoken-word again. And the obligatory bleeped-out "F*** off". Lol. ★★
Age 7: Junsu's solo. Ballad ballad ballad. While the lyrics aren't Junsu's, it sounds like something he would write or what a writer would create inspired by things he had talked about. Sounds like another one about that girl. Very sweet and sad. My favorite Junsu-voice is the quieter one and this song has it in spades. Yet another Junsu ballad that stops me in my tracks if it shuffles into a playlist. Can't help but be attentive and refrain from interrupting his voice with any other noise.
★★★★
Dad, You There?: This one is interesting. Emotionally charged. It sounds like a church song, which is appropriate. Yoochun's lyrics. Quite clearly written about his father who passed away recently while Yoochun was on tour and in the middle of shooting a drama. YC has been open about the strained relationship there. His parents split when they were living in Virginia and it sounds like it was far from amicable. He said he had reconnected with his dadwithin the last few years and had come to a better understanding of each other. I can't even rate this song. It's not made for me. It's for Yoochun and his family. I'm glad he had an opportunity to write it.
So So: I freakin' love So So. I feel like this is the transition into the songs on the album where JYJ just sing the fuck out of everything. It's another break-up song, but the narrative is interesting. Conveying the process of falling out of love over the course of seven days (tied together with the 7 deadly sins) and regretting it all. Love the instrumental and most of the abundant English works really well. Hello husky-voice Junsu. Ooo and another awkward Yoochun narration! XD ★★★★
Sad Dawn (2:30am): Another break-up song. This one being the day after, dwelling on regretting it in the early morning hours. Rough. Hehe. I listen to Sad Dawn pretty frequently still. More of the Jaejoong rock influence in this one. I adore the track. That little military march drum. I love the vocals. I love the rhythm transitions and Jaejoong breaking it down at the bridge. The whole thing has this really satisfying pulse to it. And no English or narration! ★★★★★
Let Me See: This song is my shit. Vocal acrobatics. Nearly acapella. Winding, loping melody. A touch of strings. A touch of piano. Lyrically it's more abstract. Some kind of existential struggle. Poetic. This is the ultimate JaeSu song. I've wanted this song since I first became a fan of DBSK. Junsu and Jaejoong have my favorite voices in Kpop... and beyond. Due to their having the strongest voices of the five they were more likely to sing separately, trading off, with the other members harmonizing with them in turn. Getting a proper duet out of them was a rare and brief thing. Only a few songs in their massive discography feature JaeSu singing together.. and the long part during the Lion Heart cover they did on TV. The repetitive breathy chant-singing parts recall Love in the Ice in a really beautiful way.
Thusly, Let Me See is my crack. I almost get this tangible sense of their voices physically weaving into each other. Gives me chills and makes me gloriously happy. No amount of Yoochun's awkward narration can dim my opinion of this one. I could listen to it forever. ★★★★★
Lazy Life (30): This is Yoochun's baby. And it's so him. It's a smokey dive bar, he's the hired entertainment for the night, and this is what he sings when his buddies show up to heckle him. All personal stories about meeting up with friends and his brother, or seeing Junsu and Jaejoong after a while when they were all too busy. Junsu's infamous EUKYANGKYANG laughter immortalized on a record once again. And a narration that actually works, making plans to go out for drinks with a buddy. Oh, Yoochun, you greasy bastard. Lmao. ★
Baboboy: Favorite song on the album right here. I love the sound of it. Makes me feel good. It's more towards R&B, but it has this vaguely rock thing going on? Even with another awkward Yoochun narration in there, I love this shit. particularly love Jaejoong and Junsu at the bridge. The lyrics are more about the beginning of a relationship, but a potentially unhealthy one, where they are toying with each other. Interesting. Jaejoong's lyrics. And so him. ★★★★★
This one is probably my most favorite to see them performing live. It's like the best of what they all have to offer... at least in the upbeat, playful performance category.
Asia Tour - Thailand fancam
Creation: Here we go. Creation feels like the perfect fusion of JYJ's talents. Vocal acrobatics from JaeSu, narration and a darker sound from Yoochun, pop, elements of R&B, and rock. It's an epic ballad, but not in a way you typically hear. Jaejoong's lyrics are about perseverance, breaking free, and finding hope for the future. Poetic. Beautiful. It's a big fucking song, but they own it, and it's awesome. I think is the one that many fans and non-fans agree on loving, which is cool. ★★★★★
Valentine: Damn this song for making me so conflicted. Lol. Okay, so it's entirely in English, which I'm always iffy about, but it's not terrible. However small, Chris Brown has some kind of credits on it (with a bunch of other guys). Not even gonna go there. Ahem. It has a sound that fits into my personal taste, R&B-wise. Junsu did a lot of stuff on Incredible in this vein and I loved it for that reason. I think they all sound good on it. ★★
More about their touring and performances after the cut...
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Stars, death, and Death Stars...
I'm re-reading the His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman. I first read it in... 8th grade? Which was... 15... 16 years ago? Oh my. Ahem. I loved them. Super interesting books. The major over-arching theme is science vs. the church, but it's a fun adventure story along the way. It also gets very dark. But it's very visual and imaginative, which always gets my brain pumping. I'm also looking forward to when the larger religion/science stuff gets bigger, because when I first read these books, I was still a 'believer' at least in a pantheistic kind of sense. I wonder what I'll get out of it as an atheist. They really could have made great movies. The Golden Compass adaptation was beautifully done, up to a point. The anti-church themes were diluted and then the plot was chopped right before the most critical point in the narrative at the end. Strange decision. The Catholic Church railed against the film enough that the rest of the series will probably never be made anyway.
This is why we can't have nice things.
So, I'm reading that and I've been watching some space-related stuff and some CERN studies and I'm trying to watch through the Star Wars: Clone Wars animated series on Netflix. I guess I'm just in a space, physics, celestial kind of mood. Spent a few hours drawing last night and pooped out this piece above. Not that it's good, it's a mess, but I had fun just starting and finishing something in one session. I'm working on so many other long-term projects right now, it's making me a bit nutty. I should do this more often. The one-night sessions.
Lots of star deaths recently. There was Robin Williams and Lauren Bacall and Joan Rivers... among others. And lots of 'holy shit I'm terrified of the world' deaths with the ISIS beheadings and Gaza and Ukraine. And something I've been dreading since I got into Kpop--a girl group, Ladies' Code, was travelling by van after midnight, in a rainstorm, after finishing work... car accident. Three of the girls were in the car along with some staff members and I believe their manager was driving. One of the Ladies' Code girls died almost immediately it seems. EunB. And after a few days of risky surgeries, another of the girls succumbed to her injuries and passed away. RiSe.
South Korea doesn't have strict traffic laws or seatbelt laws. Many idols have gotten in wrecks over the years. Some with pretty brutal injuries. It's almost always the case that they're racing to their next scheduled activity, exhausted, driver exhausted, at odd hours of night, in bad weather. But after all those times, nothing was done. The industry doesn't change to protect these kids. And now two of them are dead.
I've personally lost a couple friends in car accidents, not their fault at all, in their early 20s, just barely beginning their lives. Being at the funeral of one of them was a gutting experience. Hearing parents beg for their children to be returned to them... distraught siblings... there aren't words really. You experience it once and it's too much. And that's just proximity. I could never have kids. I just couldn't do that. Whatever the balance of risk and reward. I couldn't. I can't stop thinking about the parents of those girls. The Sewol Ferry disaster. It hasn't been a good year for Korea and Kpop. The Ladies' Code girls really tore me up, because I so closely follow everything nowadays as I maintain Kpoppy. A lot of those idols are like friends to me. They have that kind of familiarity. One-sided, of course, but brains don't really register much of a difference. And selfishly and sickeningly I think of the JYJ guys and what I would do if something happened to them It's a miracle they've had only minor scrapes at this point. They travel so much and have stalkers following them dangerously all the time. Ugh. I don't know what I would do.
Ugh.
Should I not care so much? Am I not supposed to? How are you supposed to manage that line. Go through life uncaring of anything so as never to be hurt. Or care so much about things that the loss of them destroys you. What the hell do you do?
I'm still so shaken. I won't say anymore on it.
Clone Wars is getting slightly more interesting now. I'm nearing the end of the 6th season. One more season to go. I still don't know how I feel about Star Wars. I was raised on Star Trek. Star Wars always felt so cheap and simple by comparison. Still does. This animated series hasn't improved my opinion much, but it is nice-looking. BUT! I am excited about the new Star Wars movies forthcoming. Five in total slated, I think? A new trilogy and a couple stand-alones for Han Solo and Boba Fett. I like what JJ Abrams did (mostly) with the new Star Trek movies. I think he could do a good job with Star Wars. Well, there's no way he'd do worse than the prequels. Right? Lol. Star Wars could be something really beautiful and expansive. I always wished for that. The idea is there. Maybe we'll finally have something that meets it's potential.
Still struggling to get through the Star Trek original series. Oh gawd. I drag myself through one or two at a time and then have to avoid it for a couple weeks. The sexist stuff is just unbearable. Lmao. I'm clinging to Nimoy and Takei to get me through. XD
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Another Kpopcalypse...
Oh, Kpop... how I love and hate you. Hahaha.
I feel a bit cruel as I go along with the default expectation that another Kpopcalypse is always around the corner. It's just a matter of who is the next victim. SME's gargantuan hype-train for EXO has been in a dead-sprint for two years. It was only a matter of time before something went off the rails. I never go into the group. Haven't really delved into any group since the DBSK Kpopcalypse. But the news today certainly perked up my eyes and ears. Looks like one of the 12 members of the group has sued SME. So this is the... what... 4th? 5th time an SME artist has sued the company? And that's just the big cases. Who knows what kind of madness goes on internally.
There's a kind of sick delight in seeing the dark Kpop underbelly in the light of day every once in a while. Especially SME's. Lol. Anyway, EXO fans are absolutely losing their shit. A lot of DBSK/JYJ fans are trying to help console them, including myself, which is all kinds of sad and vaguely adorable. Definitely feel bad for the kid though. Kris. He's alone in the suit. It'll be just like Hangeng. Contract terminated and bye byeeeeeee.
Meanwhile, as a reminder of the aforementioned DBSK Kpopcalypse, Junsu held a couple concerts in Japan and performed a medley of the old Tohoshinki songs. He has been doing those 'Genie Time' segments at his concerts for a few years now and the most popular 'wishes' from Japanese fans have been singing the old songs. He must have realized the fans were really craving to hear them again and he delivered in exquisitely bittersweet form:
I wept... so much.
You can hear fans sobbing in every fancam.
E-m-o-t-i-o-n-a-l as fuck.
And on the technical side, rather impressive. Junsu's voice has really grown with all these musicals and solo tours. Incredible to hear the old songs sung with his fully matured voice. Hard enough to sing his actual part from Love in the Ice, much less with all the following lines that he would usually be breathing through. And so much practice keeping it relatively steady while crying. Done that a lot in the last few years I guess. But yeah, him breaking down at the end and the audience like a choir building to lift him back up.
ALL MY TEARS. ALL OF THEM.
Just such a touching gesture that he did it at all. So special.
A little tribute to each of the excerpted songs...
Begin: One of my favorites. Incredible blend when they sang this as five. Reminds me of watching their DVD commentary and Changmin was teasing Junsu (as usual) trying to get him to say what 'begin' meant. And after much banter, Junsu deadpanned 'hajimarusaaaaaaaaa' and they all lost it.
Stand By You: Beloved to all fans as it was the song they were promoting when they performed at Tokyo Dome and the audience turned the classic DBSK Red Ocean into a sea of blue as a surprise for them.
Sky: For being the summer anthem and a standard for every tour and A-Nation. An absolute ton of bubbly energy and fan-service during their final tour before the split.
Heart, Mind & Soul: For being the very first DBSK concert performance I looked up on Youtube forever ago. Their 1st Japan tour. And Junsu walked out and my jaw dropped when he belted this part and nailed it. Essentially it's exactly the song which made me a Junsu stan. Beautifully done at Tokyo Dome, too, once all their voices had developed and gotten familiarized with Japanese.
Love in the Ice: A treasure of a song that blew my mind when they first performed it at Soul Power and Yoochun went up an octave during the bridge. When they started including it in concerts Junsu said that it felt like he was taking years off his life every time he got through his part.
Proud: Instant trigger for tears for all fans because of the double encore performance when they played the Budoukan. An achievement that made them all feel like they had made it. The brutal work and isolation in Japan had been worth it. And Yoochun cried. Which made Junsu cry. And they had a moment.
Asu wa Kuru Kara: My favorite DBSK song. Period. With lyrics I've quoted in this blog a few times. A chorus that I have had to remind myself of often in the last couple years. And it's also Junsu's baby. His personal favorite. A song that always made him teary, which he countered during rehearsals by replacing the epic 'Harukanaaaaa' (far away) with 'Hanagikaaaaaa' (nose ring). Lmao.
Oh, and during the actual Genie Time, he was requested to sing the Japanese version of 'Let It Go'. Even though I'm sick of the song, and hearing it just makes me depressed now that I've seen the movie... I could hear Junsu sing it all damn day:
Cheeky pianist jumping in. Cuuuuute.
Aaaaand... he's doing Dracula for his next musical. As Dracula. Ahem. :D
I feel a bit cruel as I go along with the default expectation that another Kpopcalypse is always around the corner. It's just a matter of who is the next victim. SME's gargantuan hype-train for EXO has been in a dead-sprint for two years. It was only a matter of time before something went off the rails. I never go into the group. Haven't really delved into any group since the DBSK Kpopcalypse. But the news today certainly perked up my eyes and ears. Looks like one of the 12 members of the group has sued SME. So this is the... what... 4th? 5th time an SME artist has sued the company? And that's just the big cases. Who knows what kind of madness goes on internally.
There's a kind of sick delight in seeing the dark Kpop underbelly in the light of day every once in a while. Especially SME's. Lol. Anyway, EXO fans are absolutely losing their shit. A lot of DBSK/JYJ fans are trying to help console them, including myself, which is all kinds of sad and vaguely adorable. Definitely feel bad for the kid though. Kris. He's alone in the suit. It'll be just like Hangeng. Contract terminated and bye byeeeeeee.
Meanwhile, as a reminder of the aforementioned DBSK Kpopcalypse, Junsu held a couple concerts in Japan and performed a medley of the old Tohoshinki songs. He has been doing those 'Genie Time' segments at his concerts for a few years now and the most popular 'wishes' from Japanese fans have been singing the old songs. He must have realized the fans were really craving to hear them again and he delivered in exquisitely bittersweet form:
I wept... so much.
You can hear fans sobbing in every fancam.
E-m-o-t-i-o-n-a-l as fuck.
And on the technical side, rather impressive. Junsu's voice has really grown with all these musicals and solo tours. Incredible to hear the old songs sung with his fully matured voice. Hard enough to sing his actual part from Love in the Ice, much less with all the following lines that he would usually be breathing through. And so much practice keeping it relatively steady while crying. Done that a lot in the last few years I guess. But yeah, him breaking down at the end and the audience like a choir building to lift him back up.
ALL MY TEARS. ALL OF THEM.
Just such a touching gesture that he did it at all. So special.
A little tribute to each of the excerpted songs...
Begin: One of my favorites. Incredible blend when they sang this as five. Reminds me of watching their DVD commentary and Changmin was teasing Junsu (as usual) trying to get him to say what 'begin' meant. And after much banter, Junsu deadpanned 'hajimarusaaaaaaaaa' and they all lost it.
Stand By You: Beloved to all fans as it was the song they were promoting when they performed at Tokyo Dome and the audience turned the classic DBSK Red Ocean into a sea of blue as a surprise for them.
Sky: For being the summer anthem and a standard for every tour and A-Nation. An absolute ton of bubbly energy and fan-service during their final tour before the split.
Heart, Mind & Soul: For being the very first DBSK concert performance I looked up on Youtube forever ago. Their 1st Japan tour. And Junsu walked out and my jaw dropped when he belted this part and nailed it. Essentially it's exactly the song which made me a Junsu stan. Beautifully done at Tokyo Dome, too, once all their voices had developed and gotten familiarized with Japanese.
Love in the Ice: A treasure of a song that blew my mind when they first performed it at Soul Power and Yoochun went up an octave during the bridge. When they started including it in concerts Junsu said that it felt like he was taking years off his life every time he got through his part.
Proud: Instant trigger for tears for all fans because of the double encore performance when they played the Budoukan. An achievement that made them all feel like they had made it. The brutal work and isolation in Japan had been worth it. And Yoochun cried. Which made Junsu cry. And they had a moment.
Asu wa Kuru Kara: My favorite DBSK song. Period. With lyrics I've quoted in this blog a few times. A chorus that I have had to remind myself of often in the last couple years. And it's also Junsu's baby. His personal favorite. A song that always made him teary, which he countered during rehearsals by replacing the epic 'Harukanaaaaa' (far away) with 'Hanagikaaaaaa' (nose ring). Lmao.
Oh, and during the actual Genie Time, he was requested to sing the Japanese version of 'Let It Go'. Even though I'm sick of the song, and hearing it just makes me depressed now that I've seen the movie... I could hear Junsu sing it all damn day:
Cheeky pianist jumping in. Cuuuuute.
Aaaaand... he's doing Dracula for his next musical. As Dracula. Ahem. :D
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Pure Junsu spam...
Incredible
Turns out that I love this track way more than I thought I would. It has been stuck in my head since it was released. Catchy as all get out. Quincy's delivery is as dull as his step-father's. Sorry, Diddy. WTF is a spaceship candy? Anyway, love the track. So bright and fun compared to Tarantallegra. And it's just ridiculous and fun. Should've gotten a dancer to be on the bed with him instead of a model. Models tend to be graceless and awkward. Can't have that lack of enthusiasm next to DAT GOLD SUIT. He literally 'put his swag on'. Hahahaha. Bless him.
LOEN's Showcase
It was only 30 minutes, but pretty great. Tarantallegra, 11AM, Sorry, and Incredible. The 11AM performance is really something special. Done like the MV with just the vocal and then adding in live piano. He looks so happy to be on stage. Adorable and having fun with the audience, as always. His 10+ years of experience is really showing. Always on-point and charming.
the Grammys
Put him on the home page for a bit, which came as a sweet surprise. Lovely interview. The highlight: "I'm not trying to overestimate myself of anything, but Music is me."
Reminds me of his lyric from Mozart, "I'm a major, a minor, a harmony, a melody... I'm a forte, a piano, a dance and fantasy. I... am... music." Damn right.
Ask in a Box
Another interview... less serious. More the typical bubbly Su. Chunsa Junsu FOREVER. He'll never live that down. Chicken love. Kindred spirit on the math front. And shorts. Good heavens, boy. Lots of shorts during this promotional period. Gone his whole career wearing only pants and suddenly his legs are everywhere. Checking my kpop tumblr is like wading through a river of Junsu legs. Maybe he overcame a complex after having dozens of fangirls filming him play soccer in HD. LOL.
Fantasy
One of my favorite songs on the album, especially after I saw clips of the first concert. It's infectiously happy and flirtatious. This particular clip reminded me of old performances of Michael Jackson... like Another Part of Me. So playful with the fans/dancers and looking like he's having the time of his life.
Incredible Rehearsal
Looks like the LA dance team will be at the two shows back in Korea. I love the Korean dancers, but these guys are simply another level of professional talent. They helped Junsu reach his true potential as a dancer after a career of doubting himself despite his natural ability. Yunho was always 'the best dancer in kpop' and to say otherwise was blasphemy. That was never actually true, but I don't think Junsu realized what he could do until he got out from under that shadow. Jeri Slaughter challenged him, thereby erasing any of those doubts. The LA crew will bring out the best in him at the concerts. Can't wait to see them do Turn it Up, Fantasy, and No Reason. Gonna be a beautiful thing.
Right in the feels, too. Dance rehearsals are the most fun part of being in a company. Everyone knows what they're doing... just marking timing and spacing... so fun. I miss it.
Bambayaaaaah!
Done.
Turns out that I love this track way more than I thought I would. It has been stuck in my head since it was released. Catchy as all get out. Quincy's delivery is as dull as his step-father's. Sorry, Diddy. WTF is a spaceship candy? Anyway, love the track. So bright and fun compared to Tarantallegra. And it's just ridiculous and fun. Should've gotten a dancer to be on the bed with him instead of a model. Models tend to be graceless and awkward. Can't have that lack of enthusiasm next to DAT GOLD SUIT. He literally 'put his swag on'. Hahahaha. Bless him.
LOEN's Showcase
It was only 30 minutes, but pretty great. Tarantallegra, 11AM, Sorry, and Incredible. The 11AM performance is really something special. Done like the MV with just the vocal and then adding in live piano. He looks so happy to be on stage. Adorable and having fun with the audience, as always. His 10+ years of experience is really showing. Always on-point and charming.
the Grammys
Put him on the home page for a bit, which came as a sweet surprise. Lovely interview. The highlight: "I'm not trying to overestimate myself of anything, but Music is me."
Reminds me of his lyric from Mozart, "I'm a major, a minor, a harmony, a melody... I'm a forte, a piano, a dance and fantasy. I... am... music." Damn right.
Ask in a Box
Another interview... less serious. More the typical bubbly Su. Chunsa Junsu FOREVER. He'll never live that down. Chicken love. Kindred spirit on the math front. And shorts. Good heavens, boy. Lots of shorts during this promotional period. Gone his whole career wearing only pants and suddenly his legs are everywhere. Checking my kpop tumblr is like wading through a river of Junsu legs. Maybe he overcame a complex after having dozens of fangirls filming him play soccer in HD. LOL.
Fantasy
One of my favorite songs on the album, especially after I saw clips of the first concert. It's infectiously happy and flirtatious. This particular clip reminded me of old performances of Michael Jackson... like Another Part of Me. So playful with the fans/dancers and looking like he's having the time of his life.
Incredible Rehearsal
Looks like the LA dance team will be at the two shows back in Korea. I love the Korean dancers, but these guys are simply another level of professional talent. They helped Junsu reach his true potential as a dancer after a career of doubting himself despite his natural ability. Yunho was always 'the best dancer in kpop' and to say otherwise was blasphemy. That was never actually true, but I don't think Junsu realized what he could do until he got out from under that shadow. Jeri Slaughter challenged him, thereby erasing any of those doubts. The LA crew will bring out the best in him at the concerts. Can't wait to see them do Turn it Up, Fantasy, and No Reason. Gonna be a beautiful thing.
Right in the feels, too. Dance rehearsals are the most fun part of being in a company. Everyone knows what they're doing... just marking timing and spacing... so fun. I miss it.
Bambayaaaaah!
Done.
Monday, July 1, 2013
11AM...
My favorite
It's... um...
It's kind of everything.
Seriously, if I could have asked him personally to make a thing...
This is pretty much what it would look like and sound like and feel like.
Yeah.
I'll... have to work through some feelings on this one.
*ahem*
The real single for when the album is released will be a dance track--based on the tiny bit of audio/picture leaks. Upbeat, summery, colorful, pop. I love contrast. This is definitely a contrast.
So happy. So weepy and happy.
*sigh*
Friday, June 28, 2013
Potential...
I have been reading.
I have also been reminded of why I don't read books as much as I used to.
It's dangerous.
I can't ever put them down. Hours and days disappear. I dive in and forget to manage basic bodily functions. I'm nearly at 6 books in the last two weeks.
Finally getting around to reading the remaining Enderverse books. I had been waiting until they were all out to plow through in one go. But the movie will be out at the end of the year, so I'm forging ahead even with two more books forthcoming. Halfway through Earth Afire. Earth Unaware and this one precede Ender's Game. **SPOILER ALERT** You get an intimate view of first contact with the Buggers and how that all goes down. Having read the rest of the series with a grasp of what the next 3000 years are like, I know exactly what is going to happen. I could guess what 'The Scouring of China' referred to in EG. I knew the death toll and immense tragedy. But that isn't making it any less thrilling or terrifying... more-so probably. That first-hand view is an intense roller coaster of emotion. I'm especially interested in the content, because Aaron Johnston was the co-writer and he worked on the screenplay for the movie, so the shots of the invasion will certainly be canon. What's shown in the trailer is accurate to the text thus far. That's cool. Gosh, and Mazer's story is hair-raising at times. Wow.
Ancelotti is confirmed for Real Madrid. He said Zidane will be assistant coach on the bench ZIZOUUUUUUUUUUU! I will shit rainbows whenever Özil/Zidane interaction happens. The young and excellent Isco was announced today, too. I'm feeling very hopeful about the next season.
I've developed quite a relationship with the Scrub Jays that visit our backyard. There are four. Each with distinct personalities/behaviors. Never a dull moment. I should post about them. Maybe some video! We'll see.
First teaser for Junsu's album and MV. Haunting and delicious.
He said there would be bright summery fun and also darkness.
I'll take it. All of it.
But nothing is as important as what happened in the wee morning hours on Tuesday.
My nephew was born. He's the first of the next generation on both sides of my family.
The feeling is incredibly foreign. It's strange to think of my brother as a father.
So strange.
It's only because we're so different.
He, the gregarious, independent, married, adult.
Me... the polar opposite.
I can't begin to fathom taking on that kind of responsibility.
Utterly beyond me in every way. Makes me anxious just thinking about it.
But the little one, not so little actually despite being two weeks early, is perfectly healthy. With a full head of hair. No red though. Heh.
Welcome to the world, W!
I have also been reminded of why I don't read books as much as I used to.
It's dangerous.
I can't ever put them down. Hours and days disappear. I dive in and forget to manage basic bodily functions. I'm nearly at 6 books in the last two weeks.
Finally getting around to reading the remaining Enderverse books. I had been waiting until they were all out to plow through in one go. But the movie will be out at the end of the year, so I'm forging ahead even with two more books forthcoming. Halfway through Earth Afire. Earth Unaware and this one precede Ender's Game. **SPOILER ALERT** You get an intimate view of first contact with the Buggers and how that all goes down. Having read the rest of the series with a grasp of what the next 3000 years are like, I know exactly what is going to happen. I could guess what 'The Scouring of China' referred to in EG. I knew the death toll and immense tragedy. But that isn't making it any less thrilling or terrifying... more-so probably. That first-hand view is an intense roller coaster of emotion. I'm especially interested in the content, because Aaron Johnston was the co-writer and he worked on the screenplay for the movie, so the shots of the invasion will certainly be canon. What's shown in the trailer is accurate to the text thus far. That's cool. Gosh, and Mazer's story is hair-raising at times. Wow.
Ancelotti is confirmed for Real Madrid. He said Zidane will be assistant coach on the bench ZIZOUUUUUUUUUUU! I will shit rainbows whenever Özil/Zidane interaction happens. The young and excellent Isco was announced today, too. I'm feeling very hopeful about the next season.
I've developed quite a relationship with the Scrub Jays that visit our backyard. There are four. Each with distinct personalities/behaviors. Never a dull moment. I should post about them. Maybe some video! We'll see.
First teaser for Junsu's album and MV. Haunting and delicious.
He said there would be bright summery fun and also darkness.
I'll take it. All of it.
But nothing is as important as what happened in the wee morning hours on Tuesday.
My nephew was born. He's the first of the next generation on both sides of my family.
The feeling is incredibly foreign. It's strange to think of my brother as a father.
So strange.
It's only because we're so different.
He, the gregarious, independent, married, adult.
Me... the polar opposite.
I can't begin to fathom taking on that kind of responsibility.
Utterly beyond me in every way. Makes me anxious just thinking about it.
But the little one, not so little actually despite being two weeks early, is perfectly healthy. With a full head of hair. No red though. Heh.
Welcome to the world, W!
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Assortment of Finals...
KPOPPY:
Finally, posted the link to the kpop subreddit, which was my intention since early on in the process of making the site a 'thing'. Got a tremendous response, so I'm encouraged to keep it updated and keep working on the code. Added a whole 'More...' section to the Music page that took forever, but I'm happy with.
It's nice to have an ongoing thing to work on. Although, I'm frying my retinas from staring at code all the time.
@_@
FANGIRLING:
A fan streamed VIDEO from the second two nights of JYJ at Tokyo Dome. That was rather wonderful. The concert was seriously impressive... on a global scale, not just a Jpop/Kpop scale. Apparently, Junsu is the one that suggested Jaejoong sing 'Glamorous Sky', which is a song I've loved for ages--written by Hyde and performed by Nana Mikashima. And supposedly Hyde was in the audience for the finale show. Wild. As someone who got to Kpop THROUGH Jrock... that's a mind-eff. Jae did a lovely job. Really a spectacular show.
FOOTBALL:
Real Madrid had a brilliant first half of their second leg against Galatasaray and then went to sleep for the second half. Gala scored 3 goals rather rapidly. I started getting Germany-Sweden flashbacks. In the end, their excellent performance during the first leg 3-0, kept them afloat with Gala winning 3-2 in the second. Oh, and between those games they played Levante. 5-1. Mesut scored two goals in the space of like 5 minutes. That was cute. He almost looked apologetic when it happened.
More importantly, the results are in...
Champion's League semi-finalists: Bayern Munich, Borussia Dortmund, Barcelona, and Real Madrid.
RM have already played Barca so many times this season... hopefully they'll draw someone else. No idea what will happen though. Bayern is incredibly strong. Dortmund is young and creative. They could surprise everyone. Barca is methodical and patient. Real is totally unpredictable this season. Sheer genius one minute. Absolute crap the next. But they want La Decima and they want it bad! Certainly, they'll be exciting games. whatever the draw is!
EDIT:
3:40am Friday. The UCL draw just finished. Happens to be the most favorable draw for Real.
1st leg...
Bayern (home) vs. Barca
Dortmund (home) vs. RM
2nd leg at home for us. Woo! And still... if tragedy strikes and we lose--I love Dortmund, so it's a guarantee that one of my favorite teams will be in the final. ^^
Finally, posted the link to the kpop subreddit, which was my intention since early on in the process of making the site a 'thing'. Got a tremendous response, so I'm encouraged to keep it updated and keep working on the code. Added a whole 'More...' section to the Music page that took forever, but I'm happy with.
It's nice to have an ongoing thing to work on. Although, I'm frying my retinas from staring at code all the time.
@_@
FANGIRLING:
A fan streamed VIDEO from the second two nights of JYJ at Tokyo Dome. That was rather wonderful. The concert was seriously impressive... on a global scale, not just a Jpop/Kpop scale. Apparently, Junsu is the one that suggested Jaejoong sing 'Glamorous Sky', which is a song I've loved for ages--written by Hyde and performed by Nana Mikashima. And supposedly Hyde was in the audience for the finale show. Wild. As someone who got to Kpop THROUGH Jrock... that's a mind-eff. Jae did a lovely job. Really a spectacular show.
FOOTBALL:
Real Madrid had a brilliant first half of their second leg against Galatasaray and then went to sleep for the second half. Gala scored 3 goals rather rapidly. I started getting Germany-Sweden flashbacks. In the end, their excellent performance during the first leg 3-0, kept them afloat with Gala winning 3-2 in the second. Oh, and between those games they played Levante. 5-1. Mesut scored two goals in the space of like 5 minutes. That was cute. He almost looked apologetic when it happened.
More importantly, the results are in...
Well said, Mes. Well said.
Champion's League semi-finalists: Bayern Munich, Borussia Dortmund, Barcelona, and Real Madrid.
RM have already played Barca so many times this season... hopefully they'll draw someone else. No idea what will happen though. Bayern is incredibly strong. Dortmund is young and creative. They could surprise everyone. Barca is methodical and patient. Real is totally unpredictable this season. Sheer genius one minute. Absolute crap the next. But they want La Decima and they want it bad! Certainly, they'll be exciting games. whatever the draw is!
EDIT:
3:40am Friday. The UCL draw just finished. Happens to be the most favorable draw for Real.
1st leg...
Bayern (home) vs. Barca
Dortmund (home) vs. RM
2nd leg at home for us. Woo! And still... if tragedy strikes and we lose--I love Dortmund, so it's a guarantee that one of my favorite teams will be in the final. ^^
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Diminishing distance...
 |
| The Red Ocean returns to the Dome in full force! |
Juventus v. Bayern and Barca v. PSG in the morning. Big UCL matches.
Really want to see Zlatan and Messi going head-to-head.
BUT...
Instead I'm listening to a live audio stream straight from the Tokyo Dome.
JYJ have returned after 4 years of hell to play a series of sold-out shows.
It's Day 1 and a very dedicated Chinese fan is streaming it.
I love technology. It makes the World so small.
I also love Japanese fans for being so reverently quiet during performances and dialogue bits.
Jaejoong just riled up a gender war. Called out the fanboys to yell. Then the ladies. Hilarity.
The feelz though... the feeeeeeelz. It's an event of special magnificence.
I started crying as soon as the feed started. Eep.
Ahem.
Real Madrid's CL match against Galatasaray on Wednesday.
That'll be... fun? Terrifying? I'll hope for fun and leave it at that.
Oh geez~~
They're singing Fallen Leaves now.
Seriously real-time feelz.
Save me, Kleenex!
I'm going to wetly hiccough myself to bed... after the encore. ^^
JYJ 愛してるよ！！！
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