Compiling...

 

The end of the semester nears. Two weeks to go. About a week and a half actually. Spread out all of my prints from silkscreen at home to put together the final portfolio. Feels rather nice to have a stack of prints almost two inches tall. Productive class.

Also working on final sites/assignments for CSS and Dreamweaver. More staring at code for hours. My eyes are hating me. They'll hate me more once I start playing Diablo III next week. Ha. I'm pretty well on top of my work, so I don't think I'll have to delay that fun. I'm more excited for it now. Not just because the release is nearer, but because I'm in need of the catharsis.

The last few weeks have been weird. I've always had anxiety issues, but it feels like my brain and body have totally betrayed me recently. Even normal daily things have suddenly become massive challenges. Had to step out of class yesterday to walk around the hall because I was freaking out so badly. Felt like I was going to pass out or have a heart attack and could not get my nerves to settle. Ugh. Part of the problem is that I finally got around to seeing a therapist, which I probably should have done a really long time ago. The sessions, being this focused, one-on-one, social obligation, where I'm required to talk at length about myself, are simply hellish. I pretty much feel like I'm dying the whole time and the dread of the next sessions weigh on my chest like an elephant. Feels bad, man. I think it's doing more harm than good at this point. I really don't know what to do about it.

Turning 26 on Tuesday didn't help. The number is like a punch in the gut considering I more closely resemble a 16 year-old with crippling anxiety.
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Trying to stay positive. My fingers haven't had any swelling problems, which is kind of boggling. Also got my Art Scholarship results in the mail today. Got even more $$$ than I did in 2010, which is really lovely. Then there's Diablo. Oh, and my favorite person singer in the world is releasing his first solo album on the same day. The concept is wild and over-the-top and clearly inspired by his role as Death in Elisabeth. Intense. So, there's that to keep me going through the home-stretch.