Winter Meditations

Winter Meditations (formerly Winter Zen)

It poured rain at times over the last couple days. Come at me, El Niño!
Above: Refreshed the doodle I did in February '14. Now available for purchase.
Working on so many things that I've just gotten to completion... took a bit of a break to make a metric fuckton of Ikea furniture for the family office/room. And to watch how my hand does.
I procrastinated too long on the Project for Awesome Art Perks. Did a ton of long-term preparation since last year, but was in such a psychological funk this year that I couldn't find the motivation until really late. Got it done though. I'll cover that in the next post. Anyway, got a couple swollen spots on my fingers, but only slight, and I've wrapped/taped them so diligently from the start that I think I've prevented a full-blown episode. Woo! Means I'll be able to keep working on things.

Once the furniture situation is handled I'll focus on end-of-the-year Kpop stuff. The annual re-coding Kpoppy.com, this time with the new Bootstrap, finalizing my 2015 Best Of playlist, and getting started on a History of Kpop piece I've had in my head for a while... aiming to finish it sometime next year.
Also a couple of commissions to crank out before the New Year. Fun stuff. 

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Arsenal was having a nice start to the season. Mesut has been on fire. Broke a record for assists in consecutive games. And a few goals to boot. Really rough November for the team though. Got hit with the curse of injuries again. Almost the entire starting 11 with knocks. Mes is the last man standing. Lol. *Knocks wood*
Been a weird season. Leicester kicking ass and Chelsea in an epic downward spiral of failure, both quite delightful to witness.



Jae and Chun serving well in the military. I'm more comfortable with all that now. Junsu released a mini-album (awesome), just finished a tour with it (awesomer), will feature at the upcoming Epik High concert (even awesomer), will have 3 days of his Musical/Ballad concert to end the year (awesomest), then will have a 2nd run of Dracula early next year (awesome x infinity), and probably wind down around then to start his service. We'll see. Jaejoong will have his pre-enlistment album out in February. Also the 'JYJ Bill' passed, which is attempting to make blacklistings of that nature punishable by law. Many folks celebrated that they'd be able to be on TV again. But those who are better informed know that it mainly just reiterates and confirms the current situation as illegal and corrupt, but you can't force broadcasters to have JYJ on TV. They'll just continue to make arbitrary/creative excuses that they can't get in trouble for... and the exile will remain. It's nice to have it out there though. On principle. And that it's named after them.

PSY had his first proper comeback after Gangnam Style.

Took a screencap when I first watched it. 328 views. Just checked and it's currently 25 million views. In 4 days. Ridiculous. Lmao. I prefer Napal Baji, which is just shy of 7 million currently. Been looking forward to what he might do for a long while. In the lead-up to the album he announced the collabs, one of which was Junsu. Nearly peed myself from sheer glee. Their track turned out to be my favorite on the album. It's a lovely tribute to the late Shin Hae Chul. And Junsu sings the hell out of it. His tone is great for it--both emotional and bright. It's called 'Dream'. Touching lyrics.

Mad sleepy. Off to bed.

29th ding...

29 is a proper adult age.
I am not a proper adult.
:/

I had recently found this old drip/spray watercolor thing I made 20 YEARS AGO. One of those grade school art projects that I always kept packed safely somewhere because I liked it so much. Since I was about 8 or 9 when I did the drippies, it felt appropriate to make a little self-portrait for my 29th and fuse the two.

My real hair was nearing ass-length. Overdue for a cut. Had my mom hack off about 7 inches today.
Felt like a good birthday thing to do.

Huzzah.

Stars, death, and Death Stars...

I'm re-reading the His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman. I first read it in... 8th grade? Which was... 15... 16 years ago? Oh my. Ahem. I loved them. Super interesting books. The major over-arching theme is science vs. the church, but it's a fun adventure story along the way. It also gets very dark. But it's very visual and imaginative, which always gets my brain pumping. I'm also looking forward to when the larger religion/science stuff gets bigger, because when I first read these books, I was still a 'believer' at least in a pantheistic kind of sense. I wonder what I'll get out of it as an atheist. They really could have made great movies. The Golden Compass adaptation was beautifully done, up to a point. The anti-church themes were diluted and then the plot was chopped right before the most critical point in the narrative at the end. Strange decision. The Catholic Church railed against the film enough that the rest of the series will probably never be made anyway.

This is why we can't have nice things.

So, I'm reading that and I've been watching some space-related stuff and some CERN studies and I'm trying to watch through the Star Wars: Clone Wars animated series on Netflix. I guess I'm just in a space, physics, celestial kind of mood. Spent a few hours drawing last night and pooped out this piece above. Not that it's good, it's a mess, but I had fun just starting and finishing something in one session. I'm working on so many other long-term projects right now, it's making me a bit nutty. I should do this more often. The one-night sessions.


Lots of star deaths recently. There was Robin Williams and Lauren Bacall and Joan Rivers... among others. And lots of 'holy shit I'm terrified of the world' deaths with the ISIS beheadings and Gaza and Ukraine. And something I've been dreading since I got into Kpop--a girl group, Ladies' Code, was travelling by van  after midnight, in a rainstorm, after finishing work... car accident. Three of the girls were in the car along with some staff members and I believe their manager was driving. One of the Ladies' Code girls died almost immediately it seems. EunB. And after a few days of risky surgeries, another of the girls succumbed to her injuries and passed away. RiSe.

South Korea doesn't have strict traffic laws or seatbelt laws. Many idols have gotten in wrecks over the years. Some with pretty brutal injuries. It's almost always the case that they're racing to their next scheduled activity, exhausted, driver exhausted, at odd hours of night, in bad weather. But after all those times, nothing was done. The industry doesn't change to protect these kids. And now two of them are dead.

I've personally lost a couple friends in car accidents, not their fault at all, in their early 20s, just barely beginning their lives. Being at the funeral of one of them was a gutting experience. Hearing parents beg for their children to be returned to them... distraught siblings... there aren't words really. You experience it once and it's too much. And that's just proximity. I could never have kids. I just couldn't do that. Whatever the balance of risk and reward. I couldn't. I can't stop thinking about the parents of those girls. The Sewol Ferry disaster. It hasn't been a good year for Korea and Kpop. The Ladies' Code girls really tore me up, because I so closely follow everything nowadays as I maintain Kpoppy. A lot of those idols are like friends to me. They have that kind of familiarity. One-sided, of course, but brains don't really register much of a difference. And selfishly and sickeningly I think of the JYJ guys and what I would do if something happened to them It's a miracle they've had only minor scrapes at this point. They travel so much and have stalkers following them dangerously all the time. Ugh. I don't know what I would do.

Ugh.

Should I not care so much? Am I not supposed to? How are you supposed to manage that line. Go through life uncaring of anything so as never to be hurt. Or care so much about things that the loss of them destroys you. What the hell do you do?

I'm still so shaken. I won't say anymore on it.


Clone Wars is getting slightly more interesting now. I'm nearing the end of the 6th season. One more season to go. I still don't know how I feel about Star Wars. I was raised on Star Trek. Star Wars always felt so cheap and simple by comparison. Still does. This animated series hasn't improved my opinion much, but it is nice-looking. BUT! I am excited about the new Star Wars movies forthcoming. Five in total slated, I think? A new trilogy and a couple stand-alones for Han Solo and Boba Fett. I like what JJ Abrams did (mostly) with the new Star Trek movies. I think he could do a good job with Star Wars. Well, there's no way he'd do worse than the prequels. Right? Lol. Star Wars could be something really beautiful and expansive. I always wished for that. The idea is there. Maybe we'll finally have something that meets it's potential.

Still struggling to get through the Star Trek original series. Oh gawd. I drag myself through one or two at a time and then have to avoid it for a couple weeks. The sexist stuff is just unbearable. Lmao. I'm clinging to Nimoy and Takei to get me through. XD

I do art things sometimes...

Sometimes...
Not of the greatest quality.
But sometimes.

Thusly, a little set of zentangle doodle experimenty thingy-mabobs:

Electric Paisley

Lil Tangles

Oceania

Exploring some odd color combinations that I would otherwise not choose.
Playing. Satisfying.
I've actually begun drawing again. Not just simple zentangles, but some proper graphite renderings. Sketchy still, but my fingers have been resilient through each test. In that regard, I had an idea to make a little Özil sketch after every Arsenal game during the season. Could be an amusing series. Mostly just amusing for me, but I might post them to my art tumblr if I can keep up with it.

A little preview. The actual series will be only greyscale... I think. Mesut played his first game for Arsenal last Saturday. He had a stomach bug. Poor kid. Wenger wouldn't have played him if the team wasn't so thin due to injuries/illness. Despite being sick, coming off of two successful International games, being slammed by nasty Spanish press, and having his life turned upside-down... he made his first assist for the club after just 11 minutes. And it was a beauty. Great long pass from Gibbs as Mesut took off down the left wing. Timed his run to have the ball come down over his left shoulder, split-stretched to slow its fall with the perfect touch of his left foot, passed it with an exquisite nutmeg to Giroud, who knocked it into the goal with a perfect finish.

Jokes were made that he adjusted rather quickly to the Premier League. I couldn't stop laughing. Partly from how great it was. Mostly from relief.

His debut at the Emirates (Arsenal's home stadium) is in... about 2 hours. My schedule is a bit screwy again, but NBC has full game replays online, which is amazing.

Alright. That's all. I'm off.

In search of Zen...

ひさしぶりですね。
I'd like to say I've improved. The truth is I just don't know. After a month I was feeling more settled and went out to buy frames for artwork. A store I've been to dozens of times. Picking out frames for my own work. No social obligation or challenge. Positive and empowered.
I started having a panic attack not long after walking in. That damned white-knuckle careen into an abyss. I've barely been out of the house since. I'm a coward.

While the anxiety monster keeps me in its grips I'm occupying myself with various distractions. Late nights traipsing through Netflix instant-watch. The 'new' Sherlock season for one. Re-watching the entirety of Star Trek: DS9 for another. Splitting my attention to the 2x5" scrap printmaking paper leftovers with some cathartic Zentangle-ing. See above... and below.

My dad remodeled my room... years ago. Had to box up a ton of my books at the time to put into storage. Eventually, said boxes ended up in the depths of our garage with the rest of the stored things. My mom valiantly dug out my treasured novel-hoard while looking for her own stuff--my Tolkien collection included. WOOO! Made it through The Hobbit and am just diving into Fellowship. Wildly excited about the first movie. The new trailer is beautiful and fun. Some fans are peeved with the humor. I'm not. I hope for the level of silliness present in the book. Balin looks beyond fabulous.

An interesting thing has occured in Kpop over the last few months. I keep up with new pop videos coming out of Korea on a daily basis, so I saw Gangnam Style when it had less than a thousand views. I've always liked PSY and thought it was brilliant and hilarious and an expertly handled commentary on Seoul society, but never imagined it would reach beyond international Kpop fans and their immediate friends... like every other video we see. And then it exploded in unimaginable ways. Right now it has over 270 million views, got a Guinness Record for the most liked video in Youtube's history, and PSY has been touring the media circuit here in the US. The dude was on SNL. Insane. It likely won't amount to much more than a crazy flash in the pan, but it really doesn't matter. What most Kpop fans love is that the Korean music industry has been trying to 'break into' the American industry for a long time, investing a lot of time and a whole lot of money, unsuccessfully... and PSY, with minimal effort, and no intention of doing so, became a worldwide viral sensation. Glorious.

The only thing keeping me from a truly vampiric schedule is rising early for soccer games. The football season is under way, which is great fun. I mostly keep up with La Liga and Bundesliga. I never miss matches with Real Madrid and the German National Team for my favorite footballer. That brilliant German bug-eyed freak with a magical vortex of a left foot, Mesut Özil. I never tire of watching him. He moves like a freaking gazelle. Real Madrid has been kind of a mess thus far, but Germany is doing alright. Frankly, Mesut could play like crap every match (though he never does) and I'd still watch him. It's the Beautiful Game at any rate... it calms me and I can certainly use some calming these days.

More tangles next time, perhaps?
'Til then.

Frustrations...

My hand was doing so much better. I was feeling great. All enthusiastic about getting back to work.
Past tense.
I worked on The Seamstress and a couple days later my fingers started swelling again. Put me right back down in a dark, slimy, emotional hole.
Awesome.
But now I'm side-eying the scribe I use. Wondering if that's the culprit 'cause I used other writing implements while my hand was healing and had no trouble.

Anywho...
Doodled these a few months ago, before my hand started falling apart.
I was watching 'The Mystery of Picasso' and felt like drawing a bit.
The first one was a micron pen over a thin layer of pink acrylic paint in a blackbook. Scanned it, doubled it in Photoshop, rotated, color changed, etc, etc...
Kinda fun.


The second one is decidedly more Picasso. Used a similar process to what he did in the film. Always a joy to watch an artist work in real time. Very cool documentary.



Trying to not get crazy depressed about my hand again.
Trying.
Finding it hard to be successful.
Started re-reading The Hunger Games hoping that the epic gore and injuries will make me feel better about my own condition. Kinda working.
Next post should be scans of my abstract proofs. Might dip The Seamstress, too.
Putting the scribe on quarantine. We'll see what happens.

washy

More pen and ink.


Some odd geometry while I was bored between classes. This pre-dates the new Doyle Library.

A feather.



Northern California much?

A still life that was set up at school. The guitars were over-sized props made of wood and other junk.

inky

A couple of pen and ink pieces. Both student work.


^ This is a copy of another artist's work. I have no idea who. Shame on me.


^ I call this piece 'ancient'. It's a still life, drawn as it sat in front of me. I had never done that with ink before. The shadows of the cord, papers, pen, and cap still make me happy. I didn't expect it to work like it does.